Tidying Up

I feel restful minded and accomplished today. I tidied up my house, my finances--still in progress, and my brain! I'm even able to sit down and read a book given to me by a client--she wrote it and signed it herself : ). It's called Myth, Magic and Metaphor. She taught a class on creative process and her students enjoyed it so much that they told her to write a book on it. I also have another client who was once nominated for an Academy award for technical achievement. I learned on his last visit that he used to work for CBS, photographing celebrities. We ran out of time, can't wait to hear those stories next time! They say you can have many soul mates in a lifetime. Not just romantic. I have So many special people that have popped into my life--especially within the past year. I have one in particular..he is a customer and we just started gabbing right away, I felt like we had talked a million times before! You know what else? I am enjoying all different ages of people in my friendships lately! I'm getting so much from others much younger and older than me. I also have 2 friends who are silly--1 silly + 1 silly= 2 crazy silly girls! Lol, oh boy. Today I am trying to enjoy life's little pleasures. It's important to keep these things around. Some of mine are..Pandora internet radio, fresh flowers, yummy treats from Harry and David. Tea with honey, cinnamon and ginger. I'm a lavish kind of girly- girl. I have lots of candles in my bedroom, I light them every night. A clean house definitely lifts your spirits! Exercise! It helps not to consider it too much..just jump up and do some situps, step aerobics with a chair, jump rope, an hour walk. The best part is afterwards when you get to relax and feel good that you got that out of the way! Drink lots of water. Yonka skincare products--they are botanical, aromatic and actually do beneficial things! However, a lot of the time my house is messy, too busy and not regimented enough! I'm trying to learn these few things: Resolving conflict effectively, not being too 'stressy' and taking responsibility for how things affect me. Like a bad relationship. I don't need to seek an apology from someone, I need to apologize to myself for doing something stupid to me! By allowing certain things to happen, of course. Then move on. I get these ideas from listening to audio seminars with people like Claire Zammit, Debbie and Arielle Ford, Catherine Woodward-Thomas. I also like meditation music which I listen to on Pandora. Deuter, Liquid Mind, etc. I need to remember to read the Bible some in the morning--that wouldn't hurt! So guess what? Tomorrow or so I will probably be untidy again and by next week I can begin where I left off..

Exsistence

I would like to rewrite my own interpretation of the seven ages of man; the stages of life and what we do in them..or a more comprehensive timeline of explanation in the events of. I am seeking in futile attempt to find justification for the rationale of human actions. I mean, there must be an order or code! You see, I find too much gray in the areas that should be black and white. That must be my question here. What is right, what is wrong? Is there true meaning, or is everything just an imbodiment of satire? --If in satire you need no moral lesson, no didactic purpose? For it is said.."the essence of satire is aggression or criticism, and criticism (previous to the area of existentialistic inhilisism) has always implied a systematic measure of good and bad." These are mere outlines of thought in which I am speaking, obviously. These questions have already been asked. Now I must dig deeper into the roots of the question. Well, this could most definitely be a writing in continual progress.
Whoa, I am really beginning to frighten myself. Why are these questions popping into my mind. I have very little knowledge of the study of philosophy. I only go by my own life experience. I wrote down those words above but prior did not know their meaning. The ideas have been in my head for a while now but now the words that belong to them are moving in like a supernatural force. I looked up the definition of nehilism: Nihilism is the belief that all values are baseless and that nothing can be known or communicated. It is often associated with extreme pessimism and a radical skepticism that condemns existence. A true nihilist would believe in nothing, have no loyalties, and no purpose other than, perhaps, an impulse to destroy. While few philosophers would claim to be nihilists, nihilism is most often associated with Friedrich Nietzsche who argued that its corrosive effects would eventually destroy all moral, religious, and metaphysical convictions and precipitate the greatest crisis in human history. In the 20th century, nihilistic themes--epistemological failure, value destruction, and cosmic purposelessness--have preoccupied artists, social critics, and philosophers. Mid-century, for example, the existentialists helped popularize tenets of nihilism in their attempts to blunt its destructive potential. By the end of the century, existential despair as a response to nihilism gave way to an attitude of indifference, often associated with antifoundationalism.
Well, that sounds awful..why would I explore such ideas? Well, I know what I have tried in the past, and I know what has not worked for me. What doesn't add up. The greater part of me would like to be oblivious but something is pulling me. There are questions and I want the answers. Maybe at the end I will find that the God I used to have faith in is the God afterall. Am I being foolish when I think that I will find my own answers? In the Bible it says, there is a way that seems right to man but it's end is death. But my search is in a humble manner. I don't think I know any answers, I only know the nagging questions deep in my subconscience that wants to draw the lines together. Every piece of existence, every moment of life a line in the center that is vivid and draws out all confusion. I think that's it.. The truth..a place where all certainty lies..where there are no lies, where there is peace in all matter. There are no questions of why this and why that?? Perhaps it is in the center of the circle. Maybe in the center of the circle one can find every bitter piece of existence to be.. okay-- because you can see everything for what it really is..
My end conclusion for now: after doing an outline on philosophical studies I quickly came to realize that it was not worth the energy and time to dig any deeper..for there is no end conclusion in the matter--so what's the point? Therefore I will keep my heart open, my mind clear, grow, learn and do my very best and life will happen as it may. Peace out.

Learn to be INTROSPECTIVE

Dear Blogger.. I am at work today, a little slow for a Saturday-but it's still early. I'm in a relatively good mood today, unaffected by others moods. I play therapist all day. So many women come in that don't want to be happy with their services or with anything about themselves. My coworkers get angry at them, but I can spot them a mile away. They just don't like themselves. Sometimes men do it to, stomp or storm out ; no matter how you try to satisfy them- but who the hell knows whats wrong with them? Which brings me to something I wonder about concerning people's behaviors. I myself am always trying to grow and change my ways! are other people just not aware or conscious of their behavior? Certainly there have been times when I didn't act very civil in public, but I immediately felt foolish and examined my actions. I also meet a lot of women who are middle aged and they are still making mistakes they should have discovered long ago, and to avoid them. Especially concerning their demeanor with men. Part of life is about paying attention to what you are doing right now, if there is something wrong with your view- change it! Of course another obstacle is sure to come along, but you're getting smarter with every change you make. If you don't make any realizations about yourself, you are stuck in your same old ways..that is really dull! Some people just seem hopeless, but please..look at what you are doing and find a better way. pay attention to how others around you respond and react. If you are getting negatively feedback, you ain't actin' right!

Confessions of a Hairstylist

In case you ever wondered or were ever curious..No, we don't mind when you tell us your whole life story and personal details. Yes, we do mind if you come in from just had a vigorous workout..especially if you are dehydrated and your sweat smells like urine. It would be nice if you chew gum after having a cigarette and coffee. Yes, it's okay and preferred if you come in without freshly washed hair, but not if its totally greasy..well that's nasty. If you have unsightly drandruff and we recommend that you use a special shampoo- get it...don't walk out the door perfectly content with your greazzzy smelling fungus head- really! Guys complain more about grays than women do. 98 percent of married men flirt with me or have at one point said or done something inappropriate or spoke not-so-nicely about there wives. Yes, that means only a mere 2 or 3% of men are completely decent!! I've done A LOT of mens hair. No, i don't mind being a therapist-Yes, i DO mind being a phsychotherapist-especially not if it includes only a 5 dollar tip. Acceptable Tips: 15 for a women's cut..7 or 10 for a mens cut..30 for color and cut..40 for a 3hr foil highlighting session. Please..and thank you very much. Youre excessive directions are annoying and are irrelevant- you can't make a stylist give you a good cut! -she either is skilled or she isnt- you will ruin her creative flow! Men-it's my job to be nice to you..unless you get a clue that i am attracted, dont assume otherwise..especially if you come in with bad breath- c'mon.

My Dating Dilemma

i just got an email for some dating advice book and i am totally annoyed. i know that men are so simple that things like ignoring a phone call, appearing too busy, making them wait..can really get a man to take interest. I am a challenge, damn it! i may forget to do those simple things at first..but just because i make it easy for them in the beginning..well, that doesn't mean it is going to be that easy to keep me! I give up. I don't want any dumb dating advice, i don't want to appeal to some simple son of a b*tch!!! ---- who stood me up. i want all men who have ''commitment issues" to read this and learn. First of all, i thought that men like superheros. coulda fooled me. Well listen here men..women don't need you to solve all our issues..we'll be more likely to be helping you with your stupid typical issues..like, my dad didnt give me his approval growing up..or shit like that. We just need to know youre going to stick around and if we can trust that you won't treat us like we are "too much", get through some rough patches and treat us as though we are worth the effort! Damnit. Yes, women should learn to get strong on their own..but they shouldnt get dumped for it, because if there was any love in the first place..a man should be willing to stick around for a while. God, men suck. Yes, you men really suck at this. they are willing to completely trash a relationship just because a woman has a few unresolve issues. well, its not gonna happen to me again..i have learned my lessons. i will be strong on my own and i don't need someone by my side to help me get through it all. You see that? you see all we are asking for?? so thank you Malekind. we don't need you to help mend our broken hearts with your patience, kindness and loving understanding. we don't need a white knight in shining armour..so if you find a sweet girl who is beautiful and loving and perfect otherwise..be sure not to give her a freakin' chance. no, i don't hate all men..i just love the idea of one! Here's to men..may your needs always come first, and may you never make any realizations about the opposite sex.

manic my as*

I am not overly opinionated about things such as abortion, politics, but on this subject I feel compelled and qualified to share my well-informed opinion. After reading in a magazine about a woman's battle with manic depression and a book review of a memoir..Well I am annoyed and concerned with the 'tales' of this 'disorder'. Bipolar, manic depression, is a state of mind. Maybe there is such thing as chemical imbalance- people who need medication.. but for those who suffer (and i find it come in varying forms and degrees) it is a state of mind that needs to be corrected. My affliction here is that people are putting on labels and not targeting the whole truth in the matter, or root of problem. It starts with similar feelings in individuals abut every person afflicted with the 'disorder' is indeed an individual in the case. Feelings of fear, feelings of an infinite doom and gloom- and there is truly doom- doom to not recognize, doom to not recognize a pattern. A pattern of flawed thinking. I do not want people to read these accounts of 'illness' that are glorified with its 'darkness and edge'. Stating that there is a lure, that 'the manic state can be so intoxicating that some patients are loathe to let go'. With that sort of realization, one might realize they are not alone with some of the feelings but can only bring hopelessness- leading a person to think that they indeed are 'manic' and need to be medicated. Such lies. My answers however are on a basis of my religious, spiritual beliefs. I believe that the spirit within the body wants answers to his questions. We have a conscience and it knows right from wrong. With depression- something always seems dreadfully wrong. I believe there is a bit of narcissism in the 'disorder' and the things I have read really exemplify it. There is a magazine that has journal entrees of her bout with bipolar disorder. She has no answers, just glorifies the occurances of it- thinking she is some great thinker, mysterious..whatever. Someone that wants real answers would not benefit but sink deeper into doubt and uncertainty. So back to the right and wrong issue. Something within us wants to know the truth, but there are so many things in the way of it. There are layers and layers of thinking that keep us from the truth. These thoughts are unproductive and poisionous. They will keep us so far from the truth. One must listen to and search his own heart-truly. From the open eyes of his heart he will uncover the mysteries that are really very much within our reach. To someone who is suffering from the disorder I would want them to know that every negative thought and obstacle are all lies. Everyone is different and has to search their own heart for their own revelation. It is my desire to plant a seed of hope that freedom does exist. You can be freed from the imprisonment of your thoughts- but if you have lost heart- there is no finding your way. Somehow, even in the tiniest corner of your heart that is true.. your answers will be revealed.